


Dreams worse then Nightmares

by wizardingtributeofhades



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:13:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3569258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizardingtributeofhades/pseuds/wizardingtributeofhades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry Mills misses the boy that made him believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams worse then Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this http://commodorenewt.tumblr.com/post/113804405880/close-your-eyes-and-ill-take-you-somewhere-you

                The windows flew open, shattered glass raining in on his bed. Henry didn't sleep much. Not since New York, not since Zelina and Ingrid. Not since all his memories came flooding back into his mind, washing away what would've been a happy life, a damn near perfect life, bringing with them times when he didn't think anyone could ever be that happy. Finding Emma, breaking the curse, jumping off that cliff and flying.

                But it brought back the bad memories too, the fear, the lies. His mother was the Evil Queen, his grandfather the Dark One. Being stuck alone in the dark room, flames surrounding him, the heat choking the life out of him until he would wake up, sheets soaked with sweat and sometimes more than. Having people he loved threatened in front of him, sometimes by people he loved. Watching everything unfold around him, crash around his ears with him constantly pushed to the sidelines unable to do anything but watch. 

                Watch as Tamara and Greg tried to destroy the town. Watch Cora, Zelina and Ingrid slam against them like a hurricane, leaving all them to pick up the pieces of their lives. Watch Peter lose everything, his island, his boys, his shadow, his right hand man, his mind and finally his life.

                When Peter took control, swapped their bodies and locked Henry away in that wretched box, where the only thing that kept him from going insane was pure hope. Hope and the tiny glimmers he got from his own eyes, the shattered thoughts and twisted emotions that his body  radiated from the bow of the ship as he was locked away in some pocket dimension.

                Peter and him. Connected in a way that he could never had thought imaginable. The demented king of Neverland had managed to make him feel nearly every emotion Henry had ever heard of in their short time together. Relief when the strange kindred spirit tugged him out of the path of the terrifying lost boys. Pure unblemished joy as he looked over and saw the grinning face as the soared over the ocean, shimmering green, hand tightening against Henry's. Betrayal and fear as he saw Peter's true face, the practically evil glint in his eyes as he called out his boys.

                Everything on Neverland existed in a haze, time moving far too fast and not at all at the same time. The sun rose and set depending on your mood, flowers wilted to a husk and bloomed again with the breath of the nearest lost boy. Henry didn't see the sun the first few days, didn't see a flower bloom or a single glint of magic anywhere on the hellish place.

                 Then Peter handed him a cross bow. Handed him a loaded bow and told him to shoot the apple off Felix's head. And Henry's blood roared as he turned on Peter, let the bolt fly. When Peter caught the arrow, head just pricking the skin Henry's blood froze in his veins. Then Peter smiled, not a smirk, not some wry grin that promised retribution but a honest to god smile and the sun broke through the darkness for the first time.

                Henry tried to ignore the way his heart raced, excused the burn of his cheeks on the entirely too intense sun. Did whatever he could to justify things to himself, because Peter was a villain. Not someone trying to change, not a person who was only defending himself. How could Henry have fallen for someone like him. Neverland was an odd place and Henry felt like a live time had passed, Peter and him, him and Peter, both boys because really that's all they were but happy boys. Happy boys living on the island, keeping one another safe, defending their home and protected all those boy and girls that were so similar to him, lost, beaten and abused.

                But then he blinked and they were back in the clearing, boys cheering, Felix lounging against the tree, teeth tearing into the apple with a look on his face like he had never seen something quite so entertaining. Peter was still across from him, twirling the bolt between his long fingers  and Henry couldn't help but get distracted by them even if he couldn't quite work out why.

                Things moved quickly, sticks turning to swords and empty bowls filling their stomachs. The sun never quite set, not when there was magic to learn, places to see and parts of Peter to explore. They didn't sleep much, didn't need it with the pulse of the island fueling them, when they did it was in one another's embrace and Henry missed his family like nothing he had ever felt before but knowing Peter was near him, feeling his body, breath on his neck, voice in his ear, made it better.

                Henry was so close to his happy everything not just ending. Then the sun wasn't as bright, the noises dull and Peter changed, anger and venom in voice that was probably always there but Henry was just noticing it now, his family close and thoughts of being home pushing at the edges of the little bubble of his happiness. It felt weird, happiness pushing at happiness, trying to edge one another out in his head, both demanding to be felt and Henry felt like he was being torn in two.

                He couldn't think of another was to explain what he felt when his heart was Peter's chest. Beating in a chest that wasn't his own, pushing magic through foreign veins in a body he knew all too well. It was a funny thing, being conscious and unable to move. Seeing through the eyes of someone else as you look at your own body on the ground and knowing that it wasn't supposed to be like this. That his family was messing up their plan, that his family was going to take away his happy ending.

                Henry knew when Peter's plan changed. Felt the cold seep into his body and the slow snapping of connections breaking, memories turning sour the longer he went without his heart, until there was nothing but a vast mist surrounding him, memories he couldn't quite grasp lurking at the edges of his vision like creatures circling their prey.

                When his family won, pushing his heart back into his chest it all felt hollow. For the briefest instant he thought they had killed him. Killed the person he loved, they boy who gave him everything and nothing and all the things in between. But even if he couldn't explain it, he felt it, felt the heart beating with his, felt the breath on his neck and the fingers intertwined with his and he knew Peter was still alive and that was enough.

                For all that Peter had told him about the strength of his heart, Henry knew all Peter would get was the shards of a broken heart when he saw the broken king of Neverland standing above his bed, hissing as Regina's spell defended him. Time on Neverland was like a gift, a safe haven, something to relish and enjoy. In Pandora's box it was a sentence, something to painfully endure.

                He was inside Peter's body again, this time in full control and Henry wandered the emptiness, wondering if Peter could see it, feel it in his bones like Henry could him. It was truly madness, feeling the sun on his skin and the salt air on his tongue while he was trapped in a void. He watched Peter twist and turn and get his way no matter what the cost. Felt the pain he felt knowing he stole one person he loved's body and killing another. Sanity slipping every minute until Rumpelstiltskin's dagger was buried in his back.

                A curse was rolling closer and Henry didn't have time to mourn, couldn't let himself focus on that when they still needed a way to safe everyone. And then they were in New York and everything was a dream, the faces that haunted his dreams where just that, faces and nothing more. Peter Pan, Snow White, Evil Queens and wooden boys were only in the books he never gave a second glance too and movies he would marathon with Emma on the nights they felt homesick and couldn't explain how when they were sitting in their living room.

                Then he was in a town where everyone seemed to know him and no one was telling the truth. They could lie all they wanted but he wasn't stupid, he hung back, paid attention to everyone when they thought he was focused on his game. Then magic was real again and memories filled his head and he had lost not just his lover but his father too. His heart ached and nothing felt right but there was Wicked Witch to worry about so he pushed it back, held it together for the brief moments when he was alone.

                He made sure to wash away the tears, not ready to explain, not ready to tell everyone he missed Peter more than the father he never had the chance to know. Every time they walked through the center of town his heart fractured again and again. And he couldn't understand that if the Dark One was back why couldn't Peter be. And every night he left the window open, even when Ingrid was at full strength and no matter how many layers you had on you could still feel the chill. Left it open with the hope he stole from Pandora's box that Peter would be back with him.

                So when the glass shattered Henry turned a weary smile toward the mess. His eyes lit up and he knew it was crazy and impossible but hope was a powerful thing, and when he saw those eye he couldn't stop staring into, the long fingers twirling a bolt he jumped up, ran toward those arms he once knew so well. Felt them tighten around him and lift his feet off the ground and everything he felt since Neverland came pouring back, forcing their way in, the cheer the pain and the love all hitting him at once and his body shook with the force of them.  

                He could hear Peter whisper, feel the breath on his neck and the finger's pushing into his hair. All the promises made between them light on his voice. And then they were kissing, every single emotion poured into it and then Henry opened his eyes and he was staring at the window, cheek sore from where it rested on the desk. There was a reason Henry didn't sleep much anymore, sometimes it was stress, researching spells and counter spells and anyway they can defeat whatever's threatening them that day, but mostly it was that the dreams were usually worse than the nightmares.

 


End file.
